[ She has to resist the urge to mirror his posture. What good would it do either of them? Not much, and she's self-conscious that it might seem like mocking. ]
I'm listening because I think you've got good points. You don't have to defend everything you say, you know?
[ After saying that, though, she sighs, scrubbing a hand through her hair briefly. She still hasn't found a replacement scrunchie, so it's just a bit of a mess around her face. ]
But it's just... hard to know what other people think about you if they don't say anything, you know? You can guess, sure, but... when it comes to something like this, I don't feel good about guessing. I'd rather assume no interest unless told otherwise.
And I guess that counts for what people think about how I look, too. It's been like... Akira-kun, or a guy who treats me like his little sister. People who think I'm just, I don't know, small and cute. That's not really the same as being attractive, you know?
I wasn't defending anything. . . . Unless saying that just now counts as defending me not defending anything. This really is a stupid conversation.
[He lets out a raw little laugh, watching her through his bangs, hanging into his face where his cheek rests on his propped up knee.]
Sorry. This is the last kinda thing I know how to handle. It's not like I think you're doing the wrong thing, either. Taking things at face value is exactly what you should be doing. You might be wrong about things sometimes, but it's entirely on the other person, not on you. Evasive assholes like me never learn if we just get away with it. And reading too much into what everyone says is how you end up paranoid.
. . . At the same time, it's just reality that no one says everything they think, whether it's about a girl's looks or anything else. So it is what it is.
Obviously your conventionally hot boyfriend thinks you're not giving yourself enough credit.
[ She huffs something that isn't exactly a laugh, herself, putting her (now empty!) cup aside. ]
Akira-kun gives me a lot of credit. Even when I don't really get why.
But... he does, and that means a lot to me. I think, maybe, he's the first person who's really done that for me, not--you know. "The Master of Chaldea" or anything like that.
[ That's what complicates things with people in Chaldea. Even with Mash, there's that mental block she's put up, because look. Ritsuka knows herself. She knows the sort of person she was before Chaldea, and she doesn't think anyone was wrong to not take interest in her before. She hadn't been an interesting person! She's grown a lot! But a lot of that growth is tangled up in this strange position of in-between authority, where it's hard to relax into thinking people might like her for her, and not just her place as Master.
Man, this is heavy. How does she lighten the mood. ]
Look, not every single thing I say is like that, okay? I said conventionally because I meant conventionally. And if you judged my taste for thinking your own boyfriend was hot, I'd be seriously worried about your relationship.
Are we sure about that? He's got a pretty broad strike zone. I'm pretty sure you'd fall in it.
[ The crude jokes are one thing, but she's still kind of sidestepping the issue of "my boyfriend has a boyfriend, and he has compared you to him." Hm. ]
I'm pretty sure that Akira-kun goes for personality over looks.
[ There is an opportunity, there, for her to make the joke and that's why he's dating me! but she does not take it. She thinks about it very hard, though, and it's probably obvious in her silence--but she doesn't do it. Please praise her. ]
I really don't think you're as bad as you keep saying you are, too.
Not in a bad way, either; he looks embarrassed, not annoyed, covering his face with one hand. The truth is, it'd be easier to respond to this if he thought she were lying or making the wrong call there, because he's used to self-deprecating. But in this case? Kadoc likes Akechi, but he's very, Akechi,,,]
[ That boy is an Avenger, and even if that type takes wearing down to win over, it also means that Ritsuka also needs wearing down and winning over, even if she requires less of it. ]
Yeah, you seem like the kinda person who'll drag him into friendship kicking and screaming.
[Like she did to him! But he smiles at this. If anything, it's probably easier with Akechi, despite the shared boyfriend thing. They don't have a History.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2021-05-03 06:11 am (UTC)I'm listening because I think you've got good points. You don't have to defend everything you say, you know?
[ After saying that, though, she sighs, scrubbing a hand through her hair briefly. She still hasn't found a replacement scrunchie, so it's just a bit of a mess around her face. ]
But it's just... hard to know what other people think about you if they don't say anything, you know? You can guess, sure, but... when it comes to something like this, I don't feel good about guessing. I'd rather assume no interest unless told otherwise.
And I guess that counts for what people think about how I look, too. It's been like... Akira-kun, or a guy who treats me like his little sister. People who think I'm just, I don't know, small and cute. That's not really the same as being attractive, you know?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-03 10:59 pm (UTC)[He lets out a raw little laugh, watching her through his bangs, hanging into his face where his cheek rests on his propped up knee.]
Sorry. This is the last kinda thing I know how to handle. It's not like I think you're doing the wrong thing, either. Taking things at face value is exactly what you should be doing. You might be wrong about things sometimes, but it's entirely on the other person, not on you. Evasive assholes like me never learn if we just get away with it. And reading too much into what everyone says is how you end up paranoid.
. . . At the same time, it's just reality that no one says everything they think, whether it's about a girl's looks or anything else. So it is what it is.
Obviously your conventionally hot boyfriend thinks you're not giving yourself enough credit.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-03 11:42 pm (UTC)Akira-kun gives me a lot of credit. Even when I don't really get why.
But... he does, and that means a lot to me. I think, maybe, he's the first person who's really done that for me, not--you know. "The Master of Chaldea" or anything like that.
[ That's what complicates things with people in Chaldea. Even with Mash, there's that mental block she's put up, because look. Ritsuka knows herself. She knows the sort of person she was before Chaldea, and she doesn't think anyone was wrong to not take interest in her before. She hadn't been an interesting person! She's grown a lot! But a lot of that growth is tangled up in this strange position of in-between authority, where it's hard to relax into thinking people might like her for her, and not just her place as Master.
Man, this is heavy. How does she lighten the mood. ]
...so, you think he's hot, huh?
[ NAILED IT. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 12:47 am (UTC)He knew this would happen if he said that!! Even though he answers very flatly and casually, he is still a little pink-eared about it.]
He's obviously conventionally attractive. It's not like I'm unaware of that.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 12:57 am (UTC)[ Her shoulders relax a little. If he's going to be annoyed at her, at least let it be because of something lighter than they were headed. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 01:02 am (UTC)Look, not every single thing I say is like that, okay? I said conventionally because I meant conventionally. And if you judged my taste for thinking your own boyfriend was hot, I'd be seriously worried about your relationship.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 01:13 am (UTC)[ She very gently jostles his side with her elbow. ]
Maybe I'm just curious about what your type is.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 01:37 am (UTC)[OCCASIONALLY IT ENDS UP LIKE THIS, with him resorting to dipping into crudeness when he's not sure how else to handle this kind of situation,]
He's got better taste in lovers than that.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 01:52 am (UTC)Are we sure about that? He's got a pretty broad strike zone. I'm pretty sure you'd fall in it.
[ The crude jokes are one thing, but she's still kind of sidestepping the issue of "my boyfriend has a boyfriend, and he has compared you to him." Hm. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 01:56 am (UTC)[Oh wait, yeah, he knows why. He lets out a huffing little snort himself.]
Akechi's got something I don't. He's also hot. Conventionally.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 02:06 am (UTC)[ There is an opportunity, there, for her to make the joke and that's why he's dating me! but she does not take it. She thinks about it very hard, though, and it's probably obvious in her silence--but she doesn't do it. Please praise her. ]
I really don't think you're as bad as you keep saying you are, too.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 02:23 am (UTC)[HE NOTICED. He noticed and he is praising her inside himself. She tried hard,]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 02:30 am (UTC)[ He's a jaded bitter antisocial ex-antagonist with an inferiority streak a Lostbelt wide, but he's "hers." ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 02:50 am (UTC)[OTHER THAN BY BLUSHING!
Not in a bad way, either; he looks embarrassed, not annoyed, covering his face with one hand. The truth is, it'd be easier to respond to this if he thought she were lying or making the wrong call there, because he's used to self-deprecating. But in this case? Kadoc likes Akechi, but he's very, Akechi,,,]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 02:56 am (UTC)Just accept it, and don't argue with me.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 03:03 am (UTC)[AND SO HE DOES. He's not arguing it! He has no choice but to accept it! Her saying she'd pick him . . . it's . . . something,]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 03:11 am (UTC)Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Are you okay?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 03:46 am (UTC)You and he would make a terrible couple. You're good with Kurusu, stick to that.
[There is just something not right about the thought of Akechi and Ritsuka! Whatever it is, he's sure of that.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 03:53 am (UTC)I'd like to at least get along with him! If nothing else, it'd make things easier. But all I'm interested in is being his friend.
[ "So don't worry," but he isn't really. Right? ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 04:20 am (UTC)[Like she did to him! But he smiles at this. If anything, it's probably easier with Akechi, despite the shared boyfriend thing. They don't have a History.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 04:36 am (UTC)...But I still think I'd pick hanging out with you over him.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 04:52 am (UTC)I like you both. I'm not even good at hanging out, so no need to fight it out over my bad company.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-04 05:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: