What are you doing? Why are you doing it?

[fujimaru]

But let's be real, when have any of us actually known that?

IN GENERAL: 1. Spoiler-experienced through the end of Part One 2. Spoiler-aware through current 3. Spoiler osmosis, ish, for events in all other fates 4. OTA Seriously I don't care if they've actually showed up in a fate property or if they're an AU of someone who has, cross-canon, OC, whatever; OTA is Open To All 5. Including for shipping because I'm easy and so is Ritsuka* * Not like, EASY EASY easy, but you know, easy. M/F, F/F, handholding or smut, however things go! 6. Flexible for commentspam and/or longer comments. 7. Hello friends please play with me (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ If you'd rather I write a starter just lmk!

Comments

[bellfry]

It wouldn't be a bother if you wanted to eat me!

[That wasn't a slip.

But she won't be placing them down, not just yet.]

How long have they been in there for? Are they still... "good"? Don't go try and tell me you would eat old and stale food just because it would be convenient.

[fujimaru]

...

[ Well. There's probably a workaround to this. ]

Can I not answer that, because you won't like it, and also if I lied about it you wouldn't like that either?

[bellfry]

Then I'll answer for you.

[Because the mere fact her Master said that... is telling.]

"Yes my beloved Kiyohime, I would and have eaten old food I found lying around my room. I can't remember when I got these but I will eat them anyway. The idea of having my beautiful wife make me plain rice fills me with so much anxiety that I bury my face into my pillow and try to eat it as well."

[fujimaru]

I wouldn't go that far.

Besides, sometimes it's late and I don't want to bother anyone when I want a snack. Chips are fine once in a while, right?

[ Right?? Let her live, Kiyohime, she's still a modern-day teenager...! ]

...also, they're pretty good...

[bellfry]

Oh I've heard this before. It'll start with you only having them once in a while, the time will grow shorter and shorter until you suddenly find yourself hiding entire bags in a corner so you don't even have to leave.

Then I'm going to find you staring at a monitor, slouched over, reading about illicit trysts between handsome men with the only light being the screen that you are glued to.

[... is she a nagging wife or an overbearing mom...?]

[fujimaru]

[ How did you know about that?! --No, no, she can't actually say that aloud! Her internet usage is probably monitored, but she has to believe that only Da Vinci has access to those records! ]

Wh, that's, who has the time for something like that?! I don't know if you've noticed, but the only person who really did was the Doctor!

[bellfry]

[Kiyohime looms over her Master. It isn't the same kind of looming she normally does though. This is more judgmental.]

Master.

You seem nervous.

Is there something you are not telling me?

[fujimaru]

Nope! Nothing at all!

[ It's not something, it's a lot of things. Actually, she can at least say truthfully that-- ]

I really don't have the time to just go looking for that sort of thing. Maybe I thought about it, but the last time I even tried was before I came to Chaldea.

[bellfry]

I could easily call you a liar because there is always something you have not told me.

But even I know that's a bit much.

[Lucky you.]

Instead, let us focus on the fact that you basically just admitted that you looked at that before.

[fujimaru]

I said that it was before I came here! Long before I met any of you!

[bellfry]

But what about now? You have so many different variety of men around now. Do you imagine them grasping one another, gazing in each of their eyes? Shirtless, sweat trailing down their bodies?

[fujimaru]

You're getting awfully specific about that...

[ But, because she can't resist the foot-in-mouth moment: ]

Anyway, if I wanted to see that, I could just go whenever Leonidas is putting people through their paces.

--Seriously, though, who has the time for that?

[bellfry]

[And now, for something entirely different]

... Mash?

She does look up to him a lot, from what I remember.

[fujimaru]

Ah-- well, yeah... she was pretty excited to have someone else who uses a shield around.

[ Even if he doesn't use it in quite the same fashion she does. ]

[bellfry]

So she goes and looks at sweating men... I never would have guessed. She does a really good job of hiding it.

I'm impressed, actually.

[Does... this count as slander?]

[fujimaru]

[ Does it? She honestly can't tell. ]

I-I mean, Mash has her own hobbies and tastes...

[ This isn't actually helping, is it. ]

[bellfry]

Yes, she can't just be there to just watch. She must also work with them. Mash must be setting her sights to become stronger.

She too must want to glean with sweat as it trails down her body, over her curves and well honed thighs. To reach a point where she can use her new physical might to pin someone down, gaze deep into their eyes and why am I imagining seductive Mash now? Is my imagination trying to make Mash seduce me?

[It just got weirder.]

[fujimaru]

[ This has definitely taken an unexpected turn. ]

...I think it is, yeah.

Come on, it's Mash. She's always more worried about not being good enough for others! You need confidence if you're going to try and deliberately seduce anyone. She's, uh, she's more of the pure type, I think.

[bellfry]

Master, I would like to repeat what I said before about watching what you say. You essentially just said "Mash has no confidence".

[Mash would really not like that one.]

Anyway, I think we've gotten far too side tracked by now. If we want to talk about seduction, we can do that later.

[PLEASE SEDUCE YOUR CRAZY DRAGON]