what even is this

[fujimaru]

Comment with a Servant* and I will write an IC Servant-shaming sign for them, as provided by Master. YOU CAN RESPOND OR NOT, but I'll do it.

* Servants do not have to actually be canon as long as we've threaded before/I'm familiar with the canon.

Comments

[fujimaru]

Why is this about me?! I don't have anything magnetic at all!

[weiyingdown]

That oblivious nature of yours is cute, Master, but there's no need to be humble with me. You're the one who summoned all of the Servants here, troublesome or otherwise. You have a gift for attracting trouble in its many forms. Embrace it!

[fujimaru]

No. No, I refuse.

The moment I accept that maybe I attract trouble is the day everything goes really wrong, for absolute real.

[weiyingdown]

You already know that you attract trouble, you're just denying it for the sake of denying it.

[sage nod]

[fujimaru]

Because acknowledging it is like drawing more attention! Come on! You know how it is, don't you?!

[weiyingdown]

I don't know what you're talking about. I've never attracted unwanted attention in my life!

[fujimaru]

...

God and the Buddha both hate liars, Wei Wuxian.

[weiyingdown]

[PUTTING A HAND OVER HIS HEART]

I'm wounded! Would I ever lie to you? All of the attention I attract is attention I want.

[fujimaru]

...

[ She reaches up, slowly, to squish his face. ]

Uh-huh. Sure.

[weiyingdown]

[allows this unjustified face-squishing, but retaliates by reaching down to squish her cheeks in return]

This was all a clever ploy to get your attention. See, it's working.

[fujimaru]

Have you ever considered just... asking?

[ She says, without protesting the face squishing. This question is half rhetorical, anyway. ]

[weiyingdown]

But wasn't this more fun?

Besides, Kiyohime would definitely roast me alive if I said I wanted to spend time with you. That is attention I could do without.

[fujimaru]

She's gotten better!

...Mostly! Ish! Or maybe I've gotten better at dodging.

[weiyingdown]

You've gotten better at dodging. Fear gives you strength!

I haven't gotten better at dodging, and her fire burns just as much as it did the first day that I got here.

[fujimaru]

What's that? Should we work on your agility training? I could ask Sensei to draft a regime for you.

[ Surely Li Shuwen is a good choice for this kind of thing..................., ]

[weiyingdown]

No! I don't want to be agile! I want to be lazy.

[fujimaru]

So do I! But we don't always get what we want, do we?

[weiyingdown]

Those are the words of someone who has already given up hope! Lucky for you, you've got me. Don't worry, Master, I'll take you someplace where you can be as lazy as you want.

[he's already taken her by the hand and is pulling her along]

[fujimaru]

--?! Huh, what, hey, wait a moment--!

[ She's complaining a lot, but she's not actually trying to pull her hand free. ]

[weiyingdown]

[he understands this about her and just keeps pulling her along]

Trust me! If there's one thing that I know how to do, it's relax. You've had too much stress to deal with lately anyways. Let yourself be a little lazy.

[fujimaru]

It's not like I get a say in the matter! Summer is always busy!

[ Abnd it's usually some sort of unexpected wacky busy, so still stressful, if less potentially world-ending. ]

[weiyingdown]

[girls in swimsuits can also be potentially world-ending if Ishtar has anything to say about it--]

You do get a say! Just make Maiden Da Vinci handle all of it while you go on a proper vacation.

[fujimaru]

I'm not sure if that's actually a good idea... where are we going, anyway?

[ Da Vinci was involved in that whole fiasco with Ishtar, after all. Maybe not in its entirety, but she got hoodwinked too! ]

[weiyingdown]

To a bar, of course.

[where else does one go to be lazy and have a good time???]

All of my ideas are good ideas! Don't worry so much.

[fujimaru]

--Did you forget the part where I'm underage for drinking?!

[ THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA AND YOU SHOULD FEEL TERRIBLE, WEI WUXIAN. ]

I'm worried! I'm absolutely, definitely worried!