what even is this

[fujimaru]

Comment with a Servant* and I will write an IC Servant-shaming sign for them, as provided by Master. YOU CAN RESPOND OR NOT, but I'll do it.

* Servants do not have to actually be canon as long as we've threaded before/I'm familiar with the canon.

Comments

[survivaltricks]

. . . hi. . .

[fujimaru]

["I pretend like I actually need these glasses in order to pretend I don’t see my name come up on chore rotation.

I’ve gotten out of bathroom cleanup twice this way."]

[challenge]

make him famous, he dares you

[fujimaru]

["I’ve broken five training rooms in four days.

I’m probably planning ways to break five more RIGHT NOW."]

[chaubis]

shame me for my yuga-loving ways master

[fujimaru]

["FIVE ZERO HOURS SINCE THE LAST ATTEMPT TO RESET THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE"]

[fuckyew]

[Robin is good, he has done nothing wrong in his life probably.]

[fujimaru]

["I was the one who convinced Lizzie to spend her allowance on a new karaoke machine."]

[lovertolover]

masterrrrrr

[fujimaru]

["I try to avoid admitting when I don’t know something by saying “You’ll understand when you’re older”...

...even when it’s just about something like “what do you want for lunch?” "]

[weiyingdown]

pls bully

[fujimaru]

["I tried to bring home a zombie from a mob fight and tried to convince the staff it was a new friend.

I am very lucky that zombie infection doesn’t actually transfer via biting."]

[fiftyish]

[too many to list, probably]

[fujimaru]

["I don’t know when to lay off on the daddy thing and now no one can tell if it’s an Actual Kink or not"]

[shithefuckup]

TRASH THE TRASHMAN

[fujimaru]

["I was the one who taught Nursery Rhyme and Jack that “fuck” is an acceptable word in any context."]

[sancrimony]

give to me

[fujimaru]

["Sometimes I take Mozart’s mask so that the kids think that Santa Mask is visiting again. But when I do I never give it back

I just hide it randomly around Chaldea."]

[adropintheocean]

i've never played a servant or servant-adjacent fate, i said to myself, then remembered i'd done exactly that for over a year

I'm so sorry

[fujimaru]

["I’m louder than I think when Iskander visits my room at night"]

[begguiling]

=D

[fujimaru]

["I’m the reason that Da Vinci’s prices have gone up by 200%"]

[pseudomonarchia]

hmm

[fujimaru]

["I only remember that clothes are supposed to be a thing maybe 50% of the time

Every day it gets more difficult to keep Kiara from finding out I’m here"]

[heartmunculus]

please

[fujimaru]

["I edited the chore list so Amakusa was stuck on bathroom duty for three months straight."]

[painalty]

[THIS IS WAY TOO EASY.]

[fujimaru]

["I’m responsible for 90% of the sad breakup music that’s on Chaldea’s servers.

Sometimes I sing along when I don’t know people are listening"]

[promissum]

Bully the vampire

[fujimaru]

["Because I forgot to put my sardines away, Fou had a private fish party and that’s why the vents smelled funny for weeks"]

[mywife]

I, Ozymandias, King of all Kings, greatest pharaoh of all of Egypt whom you shall know me as Ramesses II! As I am born from the sun god, Ra, reincarnating from the Sky god, Horus, my lineage is divine and thus I rule over all creation including this world that we are in. The warmth that spreads to the people, the light that brings life to nature, all things that I have witnessed on a daily basis. I have seen all on this Earth.

I shall allow an attendance with my person. You have 45 seconds before I shall obliterate you from my vision.

[fujimaru]

["BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF WIT"]

[kingofsling]

[ ;^) ]

[fujimaru]

["For various reasons I am no longer to be trusted alone with:

- Cute girls
- Any girls
- Some boys
- Mirrors
- Sheep"]

[debuffed]

Hey, Master!

[fujimaru]

["I keep challenging Astolfo to races

INSIDE THE FACILITY

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT"]