what even is this

[fujimaru]

Comment with a Servant* and I will write an IC Servant-shaming sign for them, as provided by Master. YOU CAN RESPOND OR NOT, but I'll do it.

* Servants do not have to actually be canon as long as we've threaded before/I'm familiar with the canon.

Comments

[fujimaru]

You know I know better than that, right?!

[ THERE HE GOES AGAIN. ]

[survivaltricks]

[presses his hand against his ear like he's rubbing it, one eye slipping shut lazily]

Huh. Weird. I can't hear all of a sudden, either.

[fujimaru]

You're worse than the actual old men, you know that? Worse.

[survivaltricks]

[drops his hand to his side, mouth twitching, but. he's trying so hard to keep a straight face]

I'm not very good at domesticity, I'm afraid.

[fujimaru]

It builds your character!

Do you know how much it hurts me to say that? I'm turning into my dad.

[survivaltricks]

[okay he can't help the smile that curves up his lips now, sharp and a bit mischievous]

I'm not forcing you to say it now, am I?

[fujimaru]

You are. You absolutely are. I'm going to update your sign next time.

[survivaltricks]

[wow!!]

And where's your sign, Master? I'd hate to leave you out.

[fujimaru]

Oh no. You're not turning this around on me. I refuse.

[ She's already done her time in the fire, Akira! It's time for other people to get roasted instead! ]

[survivaltricks]

[is it!! someone already seems to be taking his sign and turning it around while he checks his pockets for a pen]

[UFUFUFUFU]

[fujimaru]

Akira.

Akira, don't you dare--

[survivaltricks]

[TOO LATE]

[with a pleased hum, he turns the sign around and gently deposits it around Ritsuka's neck]

I HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM AND APPROXIMATELY 75 OR SO CHILDREN BECAUSE OF IT

[c:]

[fujimaru]

IT'S NOT A GAMBLING PROBLEM I can stop any time I want.

[survivaltricks]

[DOUBT.PNG]

So if I asked you to quit for, say, a month, you could do it?

[fujimaru]

I could.

But are you going to?

[ WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HER, AKIRA. WHY. ]

[survivaltricks]

[lifts his gaze]

[looks her RIGHT in the eye]

[and asks, innocently and earnestly]

Master, could I ask you to hold off on your gambling habits for just one month?

[BECAUSE THIS IS HILARIOUS TO HIM, even as he keeps a completely straight face]

1/2

[fujimaru]

[ YOU SON OF A--

No. No okay. Deep breaths, Ritsuka, deep breaths........................ ]

[fujimaru]

[ And she puts on the ~*~saddest~*~ face she can manage, ducking her head and fattening her lower lip in a pout, pressing her palms together. ]

If you asked... but if you do, then I have a question for Akira-kun tooooooo...

1/2

[survivaltricks]

[OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING]

[DID SHE JUST CALL HIM AKIRA-KUN]

[WHY IS SHE MAKING THAT FACE]

[survivaltricks]

[DUBIOUSLY. . .]

. . . yyyyyyes?

[fujimaru]

[ SHE'S STILL DOING IT. SHE'S LEARNED TOO MUCH FROM CERTAIN OTHER SERVANTS. She's even doing the rocking on her heels thing, her body language all small and hesitant. Like a girl about to ask her boyfriend for a big favor. ]

I just wanna knowwwwww... why do you want that? Could it be because you want more attention...?

[survivaltricks]

[??!?!?!!!?!?!]

[??????????]

[IS THIS A TRAP?]

[(master is cute like this???)]

[BUT IS IT A TRAP!!]

Nnnnno?

[fujimaru]

No? So you don't think I'm neglecting you, even if I have all these others to take care of...?

[ Now she's leaning into his personal space. Not touching, but close enough that she might as well be. She's still pouting. ]

I'm sorry if you've felt lonely... I'll be a better Master...

[survivaltricks]

[he doesn't lean back, because he is STRONGER THAN THIS, but--]

[blandly and evenly]

Master, crocodile tears don't really suit you.

[fujimaru]

But I mean it.

[ OH NO. THE ACTUAL TEARS, THEY'RE COMING. LOOK AT THEM, LOOK AT HOW HUGE HER EYES CAN GET. ]

I'm really, really sorry if you've felt neglected, A-ki-ra-ku-n.