fujimaru | Reverie Inbox

Sometimes, yeah... but I think it also always has to be there. It's always important, it's just a matter of whether there's more on top of that.

Yeah. I think so too. Everyone needs something to keep fighting for, right? And hope... hope's a really powerful thing.

[ That gets a powerful sense of wistful nostalgia--something that is half-guilt, half-fondness, all tangled up. ]

It is. ...It can make living through years of hell worth it.

[ through hell... there's a flicker of pained sadness that she has to go through that at all, but... he's not surprised. Of course he isn't. He understands it--every word she's saying resonates with him. ]

... I hope that it does. For you, especially... I hope it makes it worth it.

It has for me, so far. But...

[ But. She thinks of Roman, and the things she only learned after he was gone. ]

...there's one person I wish I could ask that. Was it worth it? [ Was I worth it? ] But I don't think I'll ever get that chance.

... Mmm.

[ that's... a tough one. The people they've lost and left behind along the way... it'd be nice to be able to speak with them again. ]

What do you think they would say? If you just had to take a guess.

What do I think... I don't know.

[ That, too, comes with a sense of deep wistfulness--a loss that she has only just barely begun to process, skirting around the edges of that loss. ]

He hid a lot from me. Not because of anything I did or anything, just... he was so afraid of something. I want to believe he would tell me it was worth it, but I can't know.

... I don't mean to bring up painful memories or anything...

[ he says that gently, a little bit of soft apologeticness bleeding through their connection. ]

I only ask because... you're the only one left who's keeping him alive, you know? You, and... whoever else still remembers him. So I think in that case, sometimes... you just have to guess on what he would say, and hope for the best.

I'm always hoping for the best, Minato-kun.

[ But at the feeling of contriteness, she squeezes his hand again. It's all right. There's no real way to avoid this grief, and she doesn't want to forget Roman, either. ]

I think... he'd probably tell me it was. He was kind of a coward sometimes, but I think--I know that in the end, he did want to do the right thing.

Yeah... I didn't know him, but...

Well... I think anyone you respect as much as you respect him would think it was worth it too. That's just how I feel.

[ There's a pause as she takes that in, and then she squeezes his hand harder in a flood of sudden gratitude. ]

...Thanks, Minato-kun. I hope--I think you must be right.

[ Aw... he smiles a little at that, feeling only soft affection in response. ]

Those are just my impressions, that's all. It's nothing you need to thank me for.

It still means a lot to hear. You know how it is.

Yeah... I do.

[ he rubs the back of his neck a moment with his free hand, before he just shrugs, and flops back against the bed again. ]

I'd like to hear more about him sometime... I like it when you talk about him.

You do?

[ That, too, is a complicated feeling, but not a bad one: a sort of tentative hope and a little confusion. There's only been two people she's ever felt like she could talk about Roman--and one has been dead at home for over a year, and the other... isn't here. ]

I'd like to. Eventually.

[ In contrast to her complicated feelings in response, Minato's feelings are simple--a peaceful sort of contentedness, sincerity and warmth. ]

I do. There's no rush, of course... I want you to take your time and only talk about him when you're comfortable.

It's just... you light up when you do, you know...? In a special sort of way.

[ In a way that shows just how special he was, in so many ways. ]

I--do?

[ That startles her a little. Not even in a bad way, but clearly not something she expected; it's not as if she's spoken about Roman that much, or that often, in the years since the Grand Order. ]

...huh. I had no idea.

Yeah, you do.

[ A tiny smile, and Minato shrugs a bit. ]

I think it's just... because you really cared about him, right? That shines through.

He...

[ She's quiet for a moment, then smiles wistfully. ]

I think he was maybe the first person I ever had a crush on? But even more than that--he was always kind of goofy, but he tried really hard. I didn't even know how much he put into helping me until he was gone.

[ That gets a small smile out of Minato in response, soft and fond. ]

... That makes sense to me. He was your Sun, after all... right?

One of them, yeah.

[ She takes a deep breath, holding it for a few beats and then letting it out slowly. ]

In spite of everything, I admired him a lot.

"In spite of everything", huh...? He sounds admirable to me in a lot of ways, so...

[ he doesn't think that's so strange. ]

He was. He was a really, really admirable guy.

But he was also kind of oblivious and bad at reading the mood. He got petty and distracted by little things.

But he also gave more than anyone else I know, to make sure I could succeed.

... Well... if he didn't have some flaws, he wouldn't be human, right?

[ that's just how it is, and it's endearing. That humanity... he thinks that's precious too. ]

I wish I could've met him too... but I'm glad I was able to see him through your memory. I'm lucky I could.

...there are a lot of people I wish he could meet. There are so many people I know now, that I didn't when he was around--I think he'd like some of them. People here, people at home... I still think about that. A lot.

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