What are you doing? Why are you doing it?

[fujimaru]

But let's be real, when have any of us actually known that?

IN GENERAL: 1. Spoiler-experienced through the end of Part One 2. Spoiler-aware through current 3. Spoiler osmosis, ish, for events in all other fates 4. OTA Seriously I don't care if they've actually showed up in a fate property or if they're an AU of someone who has, cross-canon, OC, whatever; OTA is Open To All 5. Including for shipping because I'm easy and so is Ritsuka* * Not like, EASY EASY easy, but you know, easy. M/F, F/F, handholding or smut, however things go! 6. Flexible for commentspam and/or longer comments. 7. Hello friends please play with me (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ If you'd rather I write a starter just lmk!

Comments

[onelastknight]

Ah, no... that's, unfortunately, not one of the things a knight learns to do... [ a pause, as he recalls... something ] A girl I used to know taught me.

[fujimaru]

[ A girl I used to know? What, was it a bad breakup? An ex? No, wait, since he's a Heroic Spirit, it was probably a Master, right?

Not that Ritsuka can do much more beyond using a rice cooker and cup noodles, but now she has to think about some random girl bullying King Arthur into learning how to cook. Cute. ]

That's pretty cool, though. You're definitely better at it than I am.

[onelastknight]

[ Just another Arthur Mystery, really ]

All it takes is practice. I could barely boil potatoes when I started.

I could teach you, if you like.

[fujimaru]

Really?

[ Dear nonexistent diary, today one of several King Arthurs offered to teach me how to cook.

Honestly, is that more or less unbelievable than "one year, I helped save all of humanity"? She's not sure. ]

I mean, I'm pretty much on the same "can barely boil potatoes" level, are you sure?

[onelastknight]

If I could learn, you can learn, I think.

[fujimaru]

Those're pretty high expectations, Saber.

[ But she's still hovering around, watching his work curiously. ]

[onelastknight]

Oh? But I think even if it's a challenge, you'll be able to handle it.

[fujimaru]

Tell that to my professors...

[ But even if she's grumbling, it's more playful sulking than actual complaining.]

I tried to get Emiya to show me once, too. He got too anxious when I had the knife in my hand, so it ended in failure.

[onelastknight]

[ that's pretty cute honestly. A little smile! ] Oh. Well, there's no reason the second time can't go much better, of course. Was he afraid you would cut yourself?

[fujimaru]

Probably... he's kind of a mother-hen that way, huh?

[onelastknight]

It's not necessarily bad to have someone worry about you. But I think you'll survive even if you cut your finger.

[fujimaru]

Right?? But tell him that, jeeze. You'd think I was gonna chop my fingers off or something...

[ Ritsuka that's possibly because you just stick them straight out when you're cutting vegetables. ]

[onelastknight]

An easy way to avoid being hurt is to be cautious if you're unsure. That applies to cooking as well as battle.

[fujimaru]

[ She oozes down a little further. It's like she's melting in place or something. ]

I get the feeling that using a knife isn't really much like using a sword.

[onelastknight]

[ honestly he just seems more amused than anything. it's cute. Masters are cute sometimes. ] Well, it's maybe not a direct correlation...

[fujimaru]

[ Listen, sometimes Masters just want to whine a little, and it's nothing actually serious. ]

I bet if I tried waving a knife around like one, it wouldn't matter where he is, Emiya would show up to yell at us both.

[onelastknight]

Well, I think in that case we would deserve a little bit of being yelled at.

[fujimaru]

Saber! Be on my side just a little!!

[ She makes a fist with one hand, pounding it halfheartedly against the countertop. ]

Do you know what it's like, having to stand there for a whole twenty minutes -- I timed it once -- and listen to him scold you... it's like he's got the soul of a mother, or something...

[onelastknight]

I think the only way to avoid that is to be careful. Don't worry, Master. Even in the kitchen, I'll be sure to protect you from harm.

[fujimaru]

[ Is this what actual chivalry is like?! Whoa...

She takes a moment to just stare at him, then coughs. ]

Well, good. I'll be in your care, Saber.

[onelastknight]

Then, do you want to learn right now?

[fujimaru]

[ For a moment she stays in the same position, half-melted on the counter, then abruptly pushes herself up, brightening. ]

--You know what, yeah. Let's do it.

[onelastknight]

[ He proceeds to walk you through some basic cooking techniques! First by demonstrating, and then offering up, what were we cooking, potatoes? He offers up a potato as sacrifice. Give it your best shot ]

[fujimaru]

[ Well, it's not great, but it's at least better than Comically Anime Bad. The slices are lopsided and there is at least one close encounter with the edge of the knife and her fingers.

In the end, what they're left with is a pile of potato chunks in various sizes and thicknesses. Hm. ]

...That's better than nothing, I guess...

[onelastknight]

It's much better than nothing. In something like a stew or a casserole, these would be fine.