But let's be real, when have any of us actually known that?
IN GENERAL:
1. Spoiler-experienced through the end of Part One
2. Spoiler-aware through current
3. Spoiler osmosis, ish, for events in all other fates
4. OTA
Seriously I don't care if they've actually showed up in a fate property or if they're an AU of someone who has, cross-canon, OC, whatever; OTA is Open To All
5. Including for shipping because I'm easy and so is Ritsuka*
* Not like, EASY EASY easy, but you know, easy. M/F, F/F, handholding or smut, however things go!
6. Flexible for commentspam and/or longer comments.
7. Hello friends please play with me (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ If you'd rather I write a starter just lmk!
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fujimaru
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Date: 2019-01-04 09:14 am (UTC)For some reason, next time you go into your room, you'll find a suspiciously snake-shaped lump beneath the covers of the bed.
It's giggling in a 100% safe way. ]
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Date: 2019-01-05 01:54 am (UTC)...is not what she says aloud, just barely, though she takes a moment in the doorway to rub her face and sigh deeply. At this point, this is starting to become part of the nightly routine in Chaldea, it's just a matter of who, and how safe it is to try and physically extricate them.
Hmm. What's the safest way to do this... after a moment's thought, she puts a hand on her stomach and lets out a louder, more exaggerated sigh. ]
Ah, you know, I'm actually still hungry... I wonder if anyone would be willing to make a snack for me...
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Date: 2019-01-13 08:28 am (UTC)Kiyo instantly bolts from beneath the covers, a bright smile on her face. ]
Master~! Of course I'll cook a delicious meal for just the two of us!
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Date: 2019-01-13 08:23 pm (UTC)But at least Ritsuka manages to put on a more politely surprised face and keep her voice mild, rather than Panic Mode. For now. ]
Ah, Kiyohime. What good timing. I'd appreciate it, if you could.
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Date: 2019-01-14 06:07 am (UTC)Is there anything you're craving? Ah, no, let me guess! You're craving me, right? Oh, Master...!
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Date: 2019-01-15 12:00 am (UTC)No, scratch that, it is not fine, but Ritsuka is also smart enough to not back off. She does hold up both hands in a stop! gesture, like that would actually do any good to ward Kiyohime off completely. ]
I was thinking more along the lines of -- yakiniku? You know, if I don't eat anything, I'm not going to be much good company for anyone right now.
[ Surely grilled meat is the safest thing to ask a fire-breathing dragonsnake to make. ]
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Date: 2019-01-15 05:00 am (UTC)[ and off she goes! Congratulations, you're free! ...For about half an hour, anyway. ]
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Date: 2019-01-15 06:09 am (UTC)She at least takes the time to fall facefirst onto her bed and lie like that to wait for her doom. ]
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Date: 2019-01-15 07:36 am (UTC)My dear husband! Dinner's ready ❤
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Date: 2019-01-16 01:35 am (UTC)[ That's all she manages before she smells the smoke and wheezes. ]
Wh, what did you even make--?!
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Date: 2019-01-19 07:06 pm (UTC)[ By slamming the door shut.
And locking it. ]
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Date: 2019-01-20 03:40 am (UTC)[ SOMEONE HELP HER. LANCER KIYO WHERE ARE YOU, ]
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Date: 2019-01-20 05:38 am (UTC)Oh! You know, Tamamo told me the same thing. Of course, she probably expects everyone to clean with fox magic. I tried to tell her that the flames of love can overcome any stain, but she wouldn't listen!
I'm the better wife though, so obviously I'm right. After all, she doesn't have a husband as wonderful as you~♡
[ she sets the hot plate on the bed, next to Ritsuka, waiting patiently. ]
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Date: 2019-01-26 04:27 am (UTC)You can't just burn everything and call that cleanup...
[ That's more of a mumble than actual scolding. She looks at the plate, looks at Kiyohime, then sighs and takes up her chopsticks.
This, too, is part of being a good Master, isn't it?? She doesn't even close her eyes as she takes the first bite. ]
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Date: 2019-01-27 11:11 am (UTC)[ I hope you enjoy spice because Kiyohi knows what her dear Anchin-sama wants and that's delcious, well seasoned and grilled meat slathered in egregious, utterly ridiculous amounts of chili oil, right?
She stares at Ritsuka, hands clasped in front of her, her bright smile barely masking how tense she is with anticipation. Surely praise will be coming in 1...2... ]
How is it, dear?
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Date: 2019-01-28 01:13 am (UTC)PLEASE REBOOT AND TRY AGAIN ]
[ Which is to say, there's a good maybe 20 seconds where she's just chewing and looking stoically at the food before her face starts going bright red -- fire red, redder than her hair -- and then she just doubles over, wheezing furiously like she is d y i n g.
Which, honestly, maybe she is. Please, Kiyohime, your Master is a fragile noodle of a human being. ]
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Date: 2019-01-28 06:39 am (UTC)She panics, reaching out to grab Ritsuka's shoulders, squatting slightly so that she's at eye level. ]
A-Anchin-sama...! Master! Are you alright?! Did the love I put into your meal burn too brightly?! Or was it poison? Did someone poison you? I'll burn them alive...!
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Date: 2019-01-29 02:29 am (UTC)Listen I realized today that every time Ritsuka's Poison Resistance only seems to work when she's with Mash at the time the poisoning happens, and she's Ms. Not Appearing In This Thread.
So it's possible that she is, in fact, poisoned. ]
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Date: 2019-01-29 05:18 am (UTC)It's a good thing that Kiyohime will never find out who did it because it was her own self!
The panic rises up through her gut, coming out in her voice which now sounds shaky, strained, and for once in her life unsure. She bolts upright -- ]
Water! Charcoal! Please, stay right here! I'll take care of you, don't worry!
[ -- and turns to run out the door. ]
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Date: 2019-01-30 01:54 am (UTC)Well no, it's probably not that bad, and she's stopped frothing by the time Kiyohime gets back, but she does still look a bit green at the edges. Once upon a time, she'd had a pretty iron stomach, but that is not enough to withstand the power of ~love~, apparently. ]
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Date: 2019-02-01 03:59 am (UTC)Drink. Please.
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Date: 2019-02-02 03:44 am (UTC)[ She says that, but she drinks obediently, without actual protest. If she's confused, that can wait until she's gotten some water in her. ]
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Date: 2019-02-02 06:57 am (UTC)[ stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid st ]
-- Once you've recovered I can remake your meal.
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Date: 2019-02-03 05:55 am (UTC)[ She reaches up, curling a hand behind Kiyohime's neck, pulling it down to knock their foreheads together lightly. ]
Sorry. I guess I overestimated how much I wanted to eat. Maybe just resting is a better idea right now.
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Date: 2019-02-04 05:34 am (UTC)She doesn't deserve it. ]
Rest...? For you that's fine, but there has to be something else I can do for you! I've failed as a wife, if I rest now I may as well take my own life!
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