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Ritsuka Fujimaru | 藤丸 立香
19(?) / F / Who knows!!
This is Ritsuka! Leave a message and I'll get back to you.
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Date: 2023-10-22 05:02 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (exactly like a box of chocolates)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
. . . Yeah. I'd like that.

[Now the full force of her reaction bowls him over. He was already teetering on the edge of embarrassment, and now she . . . she's like this, that's all! She's always like this. Her sincere reaction to hearing that tugs at his heart just as much as his sincere words had hers.

He takes her hand and squeezes it.]

Date: 2023-10-22 06:17 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (control life's pointlessness)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
[It's a comfortable silence, at least on Kadoc's part. Not that things aren't tense, but it's a pleasant sort of tension, a buzzing, disbelieving excitement rather than a lingering awkwardness. When he lets go of her hand, a block away from her place, it's only so he can wrap his arm around her instead and press against her side. Some inner part of him panics even at this, that it's too much . . . but he wants to cling, too.]

Date: 2023-10-31 06:13 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (is anxiety what we'll live on)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
. . . Thanks for having me.

[Strange that her saying that should humble him. But it does; he feels it seep in, the tender weight of being invited into her home. This is her place, and she'd wanted him here. He looks around with more interest than he realized he had, keeping close to her side, hand on her back.]

Date: 2023-11-02 05:40 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (arrogance generates conformity)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
Yeah . . . that'd be nice.

[He glances at the couch. But if she's going to make tea, she's going to be in the kitchen, right? It feels clingy to an outlandish, humiliating degree to want to hang out in the kitchen with her rather than sit alone on the couch, but that's where he's at, apparently.

The sting of that embarrassment is dampened some by a quiet realization: it's not anxiety that's making him want to follow her in there. It so easily could be, and often is: the trivial, stupid social anxiety of feeling awkward an uncertain what to do when he's alone-ish in someone else's house, and the deeper, more painful anxiety of being certain that she has a reason for offering to leave the room. To laugh at him. To text a friend begging for an excuse to throw him out. Hell, to jump out the window—those are all familiar thoughts. But they aren't the ones he's having right now.

No, he literally just wants to bask in the presence of his new! girlfriend! for a while. Wow. Lame, dude.

But a much happier lame than stupid neurosis lame.

So he heads for the kitchen.]

Date: 2023-11-03 06:31 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (tomorrow life will make sense)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
I'm more of a chai guy.

[But he wants to smell them both, since she's offering, so he crosses to her and takes the tins out of her hand. It feels like maybe the most domestic thing he's ever done, somehow. For a night, they're just two young adults who like one another feeling their way around their first time sharing a homey space as a couple. His chest feels as warm as the spices in this chai, which is the one he hands back to her with a nod.]

Yeah, that one smells good. . . . I used to not really be into tea. But I got converted by a fan.

Date: 2023-11-08 07:22 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (stop infections stay in bed)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
. . . I guess you do. Kinda. It's Pepe. He's real big on sipping tea while spilling the tea.

[And that's exactly the kind of thing he says, too. Kadoc misses him sometimes. Moments were Pepe were always among the most welcoming and domestic he ever experienced in Chaldea; it's no wonder he's thinking of them now, feeling welcomed and domestic with Ritsuka, preparing to sit and spend time together over tea.]

Date: 2023-11-13 07:44 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (a thing that seems good to a scientist)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
That has to have happened after everything I remember.

[He looks over at her, searching and surprised. So Pepe had become Chaldea's ally too? Something about that doesn't surprise Kadoc. It brings up some other emotion in him that he's not sure he can identify yet. Pepe . . . those feelings have always been complicated.]

Date: 2023-11-15 07:24 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (worried about random ambiguity)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
[Kadoc nods, leaning on the counter, staring down at the kettle. That's the way Pepe is. All of the Crypters have their own reasons, and Pepe's hadn't been anything so self-centered as Kadoc's. He isn't that type of person.]

. . . He's always wanted to be a big sister to us. Maybe just to me, I dunno. His own words, though. If I was ever struggling and he could tell, he'd pull me aside for tea.

Date: 2023-11-20 07:42 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (you're not brainwashed)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
[Kadoc's quiet for a moment, still staring at the kettle, before he lifts a hand to rest lightly on her arm. The truth is . . . ]

He's not exactly my boss, even ex. But I've got no idea what to think is gonna happen anymore. At this rate, nothing would surprise me. Maybe that's because everything's already gotten so out of hand that there's no sane option left.

[Is there any normal, expected, easy way forward for literally anyone involved anymore? No. There's nothing like that in store for any of them.]

Date: 2023-11-23 07:47 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (we can make global pandemics spread)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
Yeah. I think you are. . . . But you're still human. That's more than you can say for us mages. A little crazy, but still human.

[He thinks he loves that about her. To think, someone this human is looking to him for comfort. Taking warmth and strength in his presence. He leans his head against hers, wrapping an arm around her and feeling his heart thump heavily in his chest.]

Date: 2023-11-29 07:34 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (face fear hide fame)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
This?

[Tentatively, he lifts his other arm, wrapping around her for a light hug. It's not that he really wants it to be light. He wants to squeeze her firmly, tell her everything will be okay . . . but there's still a shyness holding him back. Just holding her is enough for this moment. Maybe once he gets his nerve up. Comforting anyone is still so new to him. That's her skill—she can make even a mage like him feel human, too.]

Date: 2023-12-08 06:27 am (UTC)
impostorsyndrome: (countries are forever)
From: [personal profile] impostorsyndrome
The water's gonna get cold.

[But this is good. He doesn't have to say the exact words in return, maybe. His tone is light and uncomplaining, and there's no sense of tension or urgency in the way he lets his body fold around hers and just hold on. It's like no touch he's ever had before in his life. It feels like it might be a touch he wasn't ever meant to have, as a mage. There are things Ritsuka understands by now and things she maybe never will, and that's one of the latter.]

. . . Thanks. I dunno if I should thank you for this, but I am anyway.

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藤丸 立香 | Fujimaru Ritsuka