Avalon Inbox

[fujimaru]

Ritsuka Fujimaru | 藤丸 立香
19(?) / F / Who knows!!

This is Ritsuka! Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

ACTION

MESSAGE

ETC

CODE MODIFIED FROM

Comments

[impostorsyndrome]

. . . Yeah. Whatever "it" is, as long as it's hanging out with you . . . that's what I want.

[Not that it seems all that likely that they're going to go back to her place and start up a merry game of Yahtzee, but you know. If she sprang that on him? He honestly wouldn't complain. His head tilts just slightly into the warmth of her fingers, as light and soft as the little smile that settles onto his face.]

You lead the way?

[fujimaru]

[ That smile brings an answering one to her face, bright and helpless in her delight. It feels like maybe, just maybe, she's earned a look like that. It takes her a few more seconds before she can pull her hand away--but once she does, she just reaches to take his instead. ]

This way.

[ They can head back to her little home, quiet and dark and waiting for them. ]

[impostorsyndrome]

[They're walking back to her place, holding hands. Because they're dating. They're together now. It all feels stupidly impossible. Kadoc is so used to the feeling of being "ordinary" as being a hideous point of agony for him, all his life, but right now . . . he feels ordinary, and it feels like a privilege, for once. This is an ordinary thing he gets to have.]

. . . Anyone else home?

[fujimaru]

[ They can HOLD HANDS as a couple and it's both legal and maybe even expected. Ritsuka herself is a little flushed, but she refuses to be her own roadblock. She wants to be able to hold hands with someone without it being some dramatic end-of-life thing. This is just two people in a relationship, walking hand in hand. ]

No. It's just me right now.

[ Which... is certainly a thing, isn't it? They're going to be Alone Together. Wild. ]

[impostorsyndrome]

. . .

[His brain doesn't know what to come out with that doesn't sound weird. Finally he just says:]

Nice.

[And is immediately embarrassed and paranoid about having done that. Don't be that guy, Kadoc Zemlupus!!!]

[fujimaru]

[ She blinks a moment, startled, and then starts to laugh, low and quiet--but she tightens her grip on his hand, just in case he gets the wrong idea, using that as an anchor to pull herself in closer to him, bumping her shoulder against his. That was cute? That was weirdly cute, and maybe she should be offended, or annoyed, but instead she's just charmed. ]

Yeah, so, you might as well come inside for a while.

[impostorsyndrome]

[He squeezes her hand, letting out a sigh of relief. He didn't chase her off forever by being a creep! He can be normal about this! She seemed to think it was funny!]

I'd like that. If you're cool with it. . . . I wanna spend a little more time with you.

[fujimaru]

[ She thinks he's both charming and cute, among other positive things. Amazing, what spending quiet and quality time with someone can do to you. ]

I want that, too. Maybe I'm just clingy? But I don't wanna let you go home yet.

[impostorsyndrome]

If that's clingy, I don't know why anyone complains about clingy people. Maybe 'cuz not all of them feel as good to be around as you.

[He says that earnestly, not as a line, but he flushes pink anyway because it sounds like a line!]

[fujimaru]

...

[ She knows better than to actually think it's a line--she knows him! She knows what kind of person he is, and that sort of flirting is definitely not something she believes he could pull off without choking. He had to be sincere about it, which is one of her greatest weaknesses. Just hearing someone express a genuine emotion like that for her--and especially someone she likes already... wild. ]

O--okay, then, uh... I guess I'll just cling to you some more.

[impostorsyndrome]

. . . Yeah. I'd like that.

[Now the full force of her reaction bowls him over. He was already teetering on the edge of embarrassment, and now she . . . she's like this, that's all! She's always like this. Her sincere reaction to hearing that tugs at his heart just as much as his sincere words had hers.

He takes her hand and squeezes it.]

[fujimaru]

[ Her fingers curl around his, immediately, clinging tightly--and after a second, she lists to the side a little, just enough so that her shoulder brushes his. She can't really look at him straight on for the moment, but she does peek up at him sidelong, her face pink and obvious even in the dimness of the evening.

The rest of the walk she stays silent, but also close. For the moment, she's not sure what she could say that wouldn't be--some very embarrassing and probably premature confessions, but she wants that contact. As long as he'll allow her to cling, she will. ]

[impostorsyndrome]

[It's a comfortable silence, at least on Kadoc's part. Not that things aren't tense, but it's a pleasant sort of tension, a buzzing, disbelieving excitement rather than a lingering awkwardness. When he lets go of her hand, a block away from her place, it's only so he can wrap his arm around her instead and press against her side. Some inner part of him panics even at this, that it's too much . . . but he wants to cling, too.]

[fujimaru]

[ Oh. Ohhhhhh. Ritsuka gasps a little at the weight of his arm, a startled hiccup of noise, and then she leans more into it, her own arm snaking around his back. She feels exactly like a girl on a date, which--she is, isn't she? She's a girl with her boyfriend, walking home after a nice dinner together. This is allowed. It might even be expected.

She puts her head on his shoulder, tilted, until they reach her door, and she has to reluctantly peel away so she can find her key and let them both in. ]

Um. Welcome to my home.

[impostorsyndrome]

. . . Thanks for having me.

[Strange that her saying that should humble him. But it does; he feels it seep in, the tender weight of being invited into her home. This is her place, and she'd wanted him here. He looks around with more interest than he realized he had, keeping close to her side, hand on her back.]

[fujimaru]

I wanted you here.

[ She doesn't know she's echoing those thoughts, but they're true. She'd wanted him here. It feels so lonely and empty here by herself, even if it's a small, cozy place. It's been decorated in warm colors--light cream, sunny teal-green, and dark wood accents. Things are a little cluttered, because Ritsuka is only casual when it comes to housekeeping, and she likes to collect things--souvenirs of her time in this city, mementos of friends and events past.

She leads him to the living room, which is dominated by a very nice plush couch set opposite of a fireplace, then pauses. ]

Um. I could make us something to drink? I've got herbal teas and stuff.

[impostorsyndrome]

Yeah . . . that'd be nice.

[He glances at the couch. But if she's going to make tea, she's going to be in the kitchen, right? It feels clingy to an outlandish, humiliating degree to want to hang out in the kitchen with her rather than sit alone on the couch, but that's where he's at, apparently.

The sting of that embarrassment is dampened some by a quiet realization: it's not anxiety that's making him want to follow her in there. It so easily could be, and often is: the trivial, stupid social anxiety of feeling awkward an uncertain what to do when he's alone-ish in someone else's house, and the deeper, more painful anxiety of being certain that she has a reason for offering to leave the room. To laugh at him. To text a friend begging for an excuse to throw him out. Hell, to jump out the window—those are all familiar thoughts. But they aren't the ones he's having right now.

No, he literally just wants to bask in the presence of his new! girlfriend! for a while. Wow. Lame, dude.

But a much happier lame than stupid neurosis lame.

So he heads for the kitchen.]

[fujimaru]

[ She glances at him when he comes into the kitchen, but there's just a warm smile on her face. While she'd half-expected him to wait, there's a warm fond feeling that he came after all. It makes the relationship feel more settled--here it is, a small gesture that shows he wants to be around her, that he would actively seek her company out, even when it'd be easy enough for them to have a slightly loud conversation with her in the kitchen and him in the living room.

In fact, when he enters, she beckons to him, holding up a couple of tins like an offering. ]

I've got a chai one and a fruity one. Tell me which one you'd like more.

[ Her voice is soft, and her affection warms it further. Ritsuka might not suffer the same kind of small social anxieties that plague Kadoc, but she also is so, so happy to have these extra small moments with him. He's cute? He's so cute, and as it turns out, she likes him quite a lot. ]

[impostorsyndrome]

I'm more of a chai guy.

[But he wants to smell them both, since she's offering, so he crosses to her and takes the tins out of her hand. It feels like maybe the most domestic thing he's ever done, somehow. For a night, they're just two young adults who like one another feeling their way around their first time sharing a homey space as a couple. His chest feels as warm as the spices in this chai, which is the one he hands back to her with a nod.]

Yeah, that one smells good. . . . I used to not really be into tea. But I got converted by a fan.

[fujimaru]

A fan? Who? Someone I know?

[ She likes him being in her space like this: both in the greater sense of him being in her home, but also so close to her. Ritsuka's personal bubble does still exist, no matter what it may sometimes seem like, and there's something that feels almost subversive to let him this close. Something naughty, for all that this is a completely chaste mundane gesture. It makes her smile warmer, playful, as she turns to put the fruity tea away, getting out the bags and teaspoon to serve them both. ]

[impostorsyndrome]

. . . I guess you do. Kinda. It's Pepe. He's real big on sipping tea while spilling the tea.

[And that's exactly the kind of thing he says, too. Kadoc misses him sometimes. Moments were Pepe were always among the most welcoming and domestic he ever experienced in Chaldea; it's no wonder he's thinking of them now, feeling welcomed and domestic with Ritsuka, preparing to sit and spend time together over tea.]

[fujimaru]

Pepe...

[ She hesitates a moment, then nods, pausing to lean her shoulder against his as she sets the electric kettle to boil. ]

Yeah. He traveled with us for a little bit, in his Lostbelt. I don't know how many details you know about that.

[impostorsyndrome]

That has to have happened after everything I remember.

[He looks over at her, searching and surprised. So Pepe had become Chaldea's ally too? Something about that doesn't surprise Kadoc. It brings up some other emotion in him that he's not sure he can identify yet. Pepe . . . those feelings have always been complicated.]

[fujimaru]

He didn't stay. In the end, he's loyal to Kirschtaria.

[ And him, specially. Ritsuka doesn't think it's anything about the Foreign God in particular, and it's certainly not to prove anything, the way it had been for Kadoc. His choice had been a personal loyalty. ]

But I did like him. I can see why he'd be fun to gossip with.

[impostorsyndrome]

[Kadoc nods, leaning on the counter, staring down at the kettle. That's the way Pepe is. All of the Crypters have their own reasons, and Pepe's hadn't been anything so self-centered as Kadoc's. He isn't that type of person.]

. . . He's always wanted to be a big sister to us. Maybe just to me, I dunno. His own words, though. If I was ever struggling and he could tell, he'd pull me aside for tea.