[ he's going to very generously interpret that as her talking about everyone so that he doesn't have to dwell too hard on the implications.
(He can't hide the wistfulness on his end either--wistful and a little sad, but never regretful.) ]
Never say never. Something could happen that could bring you back here--or back to where the others are for a little bit, or something like that. For a nice reunion.
I feel like anything's possible after all that we've seen.
[ But there's so much that she has to do before she can think about that. The only thing that really gives her any comfort about being here is knowing that things are still progressing the way they should(?) at home. She's still facing down those Lostbelts, no matter how long she lingers here. ]
[ Which she does, sincerely, even if there's a part of her that feels detached, still, from the possibility. This smile is sincere, though it's less a positive one and more distant. ]
[ through hell... there's a flicker of pained sadness that she has to go through that at all, but... he's not surprised. Of course he isn't. He understands it--every word she's saying resonates with him. ]
... I hope that it does. For you, especially... I hope it makes it worth it.
[ That, too, comes with a sense of deep wistfulness--a loss that she has only just barely begun to process, skirting around the edges of that loss. ]
He hid a lot from me. Not because of anything I did or anything, just... he was so afraid of something. I want to believe he would tell me it was worth it, but I can't know.
... I don't mean to bring up painful memories or anything...
[ he says that gently, a little bit of soft apologeticness bleeding through their connection. ]
I only ask because... you're the only one left who's keeping him alive, you know? You, and... whoever else still remembers him. So I think in that case, sometimes... you just have to guess on what he would say, and hope for the best.
[ But at the feeling of contriteness, she squeezes his hand again. It's all right. There's no real way to avoid this grief, and she doesn't want to forget Roman, either. ]
I think... he'd probably tell me it was. He was kind of a coward sometimes, but I think--I know that in the end, he did want to do the right thing.
[ That, too, is a complicated feeling, but not a bad one: a sort of tentative hope and a little confusion. There's only been two people she's ever felt like she could talk about Roman--and one has been dead at home for over a year, and the other... isn't here. ]
[ That startles her a little. Not even in a bad way, but clearly not something she expected; it's not as if she's spoken about Roman that much, or that often, in the years since the Grand Order. ]
[ She's quiet for a moment, then smiles wistfully. ]
I think he was maybe the first person I ever had a crush on? But even more than that--he was always kind of goofy, but he tried really hard. I didn't even know how much he put into helping me until he was gone.
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Date: 2022-10-11 05:32 pm (UTC)(He can't hide the wistfulness on his end either--wistful and a little sad, but never regretful.) ]
Never say never. Something could happen that could bring you back here--or back to where the others are for a little bit, or something like that. For a nice reunion.
I feel like anything's possible after all that we've seen.
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Date: 2022-10-11 06:37 pm (UTC)[ But there's so much that she has to do before she can think about that. The only thing that really gives her any comfort about being here is knowing that things are still progressing the way they should(?) at home. She's still facing down those Lostbelts, no matter how long she lingers here. ]
It'd be nice if a reunion was one of them.
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Date: 2022-10-11 06:53 pm (UTC)Soooo...
[ he squeezes her hand with a smile. ]
... I'm gonna go ahead and assume that one day, it'll happen.
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Date: 2022-10-11 07:17 pm (UTC)[ Which she does, sincerely, even if there's a part of her that feels detached, still, from the possibility. This smile is sincere, though it's less a positive one and more distant. ]
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Date: 2022-10-11 09:31 pm (UTC)[ That's just said softly, almost gently, but his emotions have settled at a simple, peaceful contentedness. ]
If there's something to hope for and put faith in still, then... sometimes, that's enough.
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Date: 2022-10-11 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-11 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-12 01:01 am (UTC)It is. ...It can make living through years of hell worth it.
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Date: 2022-10-13 01:42 pm (UTC)... I hope that it does. For you, especially... I hope it makes it worth it.
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Date: 2022-10-14 04:25 am (UTC)[ But. She thinks of Roman, and the things she only learned after he was gone. ]
...there's one person I wish I could ask that. Was it worth it? [ Was I worth it? ] But I don't think I'll ever get that chance.
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Date: 2022-10-14 02:58 pm (UTC)[ that's... a tough one. The people they've lost and left behind along the way... it'd be nice to be able to speak with them again. ]
What do you think they would say? If you just had to take a guess.
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Date: 2022-10-15 02:24 am (UTC)[ That, too, comes with a sense of deep wistfulness--a loss that she has only just barely begun to process, skirting around the edges of that loss. ]
He hid a lot from me. Not because of anything I did or anything, just... he was so afraid of something. I want to believe he would tell me it was worth it, but I can't know.
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Date: 2022-10-15 01:55 pm (UTC)[ he says that gently, a little bit of soft apologeticness bleeding through their connection. ]
I only ask because... you're the only one left who's keeping him alive, you know? You, and... whoever else still remembers him. So I think in that case, sometimes... you just have to guess on what he would say, and hope for the best.
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Date: 2022-10-17 02:49 am (UTC)[ But at the feeling of contriteness, she squeezes his hand again. It's all right. There's no real way to avoid this grief, and she doesn't want to forget Roman, either. ]
I think... he'd probably tell me it was. He was kind of a coward sometimes, but I think--I know that in the end, he did want to do the right thing.
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Date: 2022-10-17 09:40 pm (UTC)Well... I think anyone you respect as much as you respect him would think it was worth it too. That's just how I feel.
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Date: 2022-10-18 03:43 pm (UTC)...Thanks, Minato-kun. I hope--I think you must be right.
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Date: 2022-10-18 09:58 pm (UTC)Those are just my impressions, that's all. It's nothing you need to thank me for.
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Date: 2022-10-19 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 02:41 am (UTC)[ he rubs the back of his neck a moment with his free hand, before he just shrugs, and flops back against the bed again. ]
I'd like to hear more about him sometime... I like it when you talk about him.
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Date: 2022-10-23 04:36 am (UTC)[ That, too, is a complicated feeling, but not a bad one: a sort of tentative hope and a little confusion. There's only been two people she's ever felt like she could talk about Roman--and one has been dead at home for over a year, and the other... isn't here. ]
I'd like to. Eventually.
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Date: 2022-10-26 01:10 am (UTC)I do. There's no rush, of course... I want you to take your time and only talk about him when you're comfortable.
It's just... you light up when you do, you know...? In a special sort of way.
[ In a way that shows just how special he was, in so many ways. ]
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Date: 2022-10-26 04:45 pm (UTC)[ That startles her a little. Not even in a bad way, but clearly not something she expected; it's not as if she's spoken about Roman that much, or that often, in the years since the Grand Order. ]
...huh. I had no idea.
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Date: 2022-10-27 12:59 am (UTC)[ A tiny smile, and Minato shrugs a bit. ]
I think it's just... because you really cared about him, right? That shines through.
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Date: 2022-10-29 05:18 pm (UTC)[ She's quiet for a moment, then smiles wistfully. ]
I think he was maybe the first person I ever had a crush on? But even more than that--he was always kind of goofy, but he tried really hard. I didn't even know how much he put into helping me until he was gone.
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Date: 2022-10-29 07:37 pm (UTC)... That makes sense to me. He was your Sun, after all... right?
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