[It's just a kiss, definitely. Just a kiss, not making out, not full-on necking . . . definitely. But Kadoc can feel the part of him with enough control to keep it that way beginning to wear down already. He catches her lips this time a little too eagerly, making a breathless sound that's a little too hungry to be suitable for public. He's sure he's going to go too far and chase her off, but at every turn she's only responding eagerly, and what is he supposed to do, if it's like that? What if, just maybe, she actually does want this as much as he does? He trusts so few people to touch him, and he's outright starving for it.]
[ He's not the only one touch-starved. As surrounded as Ritsuka has been by care and protection, it's not really the sort of thing she's ever felt comfortable asking for. Anything to help in the Grand Order, certainly--anything that might be beneficial for the world at large. But for Ritsuka herself? That's so much harder to ask for.
But right now... right now, there doesn't seem to be a limit to what she can ask from him. The fact that he seems just as eager only encourages her further. Maybe it's okay? Maybe it's fine to want this, and to ask, and to give back what he seems to want from her in turn. ]
[It could go on forever, he thinks in one moment, and then in the next—ah, no, I have to stop this. He can feel the way he's right on the edge of losing just a little too much control for public. He has to break the kiss, pulling back with a gasp, and the sound of that too is not entirely appropriate, but he can't help it. He's flushed and panting and swallowing hard, feeling like a dumb horny teenager who can't keep it in his pants, just from a kiss with her!]
[ Her voice is also rough, huskier than she's ever heard herself sound. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, automatic and instinctive, as she stares back at him. That happened? That really happened, and honestly, she's shocked herself a little. Even with the kiss broken, and even with her agreement, she does not pull away from him. ]
You're—uh. If you're serious . . . your place okay?
[A thousand protests rise up from the part of him that believes this must be some mistake still. That part of him isn't going to die anytime soon, no matter how much progress he's made on it, and with her help, too. Kadoc can trust her entirely, does trust her entirely, and yet his own mind turns that on him instead, deciding that instead it must be itself that can't be trusted. He's misunderstood, somehow, or is dreaming, surely. Some outcome that makes him the fool here.
He has to work to quash those, but he does, meeting her eyes directly.]
[ If she knew his uncertainty, she would sympathize. It's not like she doesn't feel the same, in some way--considering where they started from, all the way back in the Russian Lostbelt... it's almost unbelievable, isn't it?
But she trusts her own heart, at least. She knows what she wants, and what she has wanted. Even if she hadn't allowed herself to imagine they could reach a point like this, she's always, always wanted to be closer to him.
Ritsuka lifts a hand to touch his cheek gently. It's an anchoring point of connection: you're here, and so am I. ]
. . . Yeah. Whatever "it" is, as long as it's hanging out with you . . . that's what I want.
[Not that it seems all that likely that they're going to go back to her place and start up a merry game of Yahtzee, but you know. If she sprang that on him? He honestly wouldn't complain. His head tilts just slightly into the warmth of her fingers, as light and soft as the little smile that settles onto his face.]
[ That smile brings an answering one to her face, bright and helpless in her delight. It feels like maybe, just maybe, she's earned a look like that. It takes her a few more seconds before she can pull her hand away--but once she does, she just reaches to take his instead. ]
This way.
[ They can head back to her little home, quiet and dark and waiting for them. ]
[They're walking back to her place, holding hands. Because they're dating. They're together now. It all feels stupidly impossible. Kadoc is so used to the feeling of being "ordinary" as being a hideous point of agony for him, all his life, but right now . . . he feels ordinary, and it feels like a privilege, for once. This is an ordinary thing he gets to have.]
[ They can HOLD HANDS as a couple and it's both legal and maybe even expected. Ritsuka herself is a little flushed, but she refuses to be her own roadblock. She wants to be able to hold hands with someone without it being some dramatic end-of-life thing. This is just two people in a relationship, walking hand in hand. ]
No. It's just me right now.
[ Which... is certainly a thing, isn't it? They're going to be Alone Together. Wild. ]
[ She blinks a moment, startled, and then starts to laugh, low and quiet--but she tightens her grip on his hand, just in case he gets the wrong idea, using that as an anchor to pull herself in closer to him, bumping her shoulder against his. That was cute? That was weirdly cute, and maybe she should be offended, or annoyed, but instead she's just charmed. ]
Yeah, so, you might as well come inside for a while.
[He squeezes her hand, letting out a sigh of relief. He didn't chase her off forever by being a creep! He can be normal about this! She seemed to think it was funny!]
I'd like that. If you're cool with it. . . . I wanna spend a little more time with you.
[ She knows better than to actually think it's a line--she knows him! She knows what kind of person he is, and that sort of flirting is definitely not something she believes he could pull off without choking. He had to be sincere about it, which is one of her greatest weaknesses. Just hearing someone express a genuine emotion like that for her--and especially someone she likes already... wild. ]
O--okay, then, uh... I guess I'll just cling to you some more.
[Now the full force of her reaction bowls him over. He was already teetering on the edge of embarrassment, and now she . . . she's like this, that's all! She's always like this. Her sincere reaction to hearing that tugs at his heart just as much as his sincere words had hers.
[ Her fingers curl around his, immediately, clinging tightly--and after a second, she lists to the side a little, just enough so that her shoulder brushes his. She can't really look at him straight on for the moment, but she does peek up at him sidelong, her face pink and obvious even in the dimness of the evening.
The rest of the walk she stays silent, but also close. For the moment, she's not sure what she could say that wouldn't be--some very embarrassing and probably premature confessions, but she wants that contact. As long as he'll allow her to cling, she will. ]
[It's a comfortable silence, at least on Kadoc's part. Not that things aren't tense, but it's a pleasant sort of tension, a buzzing, disbelieving excitement rather than a lingering awkwardness. When he lets go of her hand, a block away from her place, it's only so he can wrap his arm around her instead and press against her side. Some inner part of him panics even at this, that it's too much . . . but he wants to cling, too.]
[ Oh. Ohhhhhh. Ritsuka gasps a little at the weight of his arm, a startled hiccup of noise, and then she leans more into it, her own arm snaking around his back. She feels exactly like a girl on a date, which--she is, isn't she? She's a girl with her boyfriend, walking home after a nice dinner together. This is allowed. It might even be expected.
She puts her head on his shoulder, tilted, until they reach her door, and she has to reluctantly peel away so she can find her key and let them both in. ]
[Strange that her saying that should humble him. But it does; he feels it seep in, the tender weight of being invited into her home. This is her place, and she'd wanted him here. He looks around with more interest than he realized he had, keeping close to her side, hand on her back.]
[ She doesn't know she's echoing those thoughts, but they're true. She'd wanted him here. It feels so lonely and empty here by herself, even if it's a small, cozy place. It's been decorated in warm colors--light cream, sunny teal-green, and dark wood accents. Things are a little cluttered, because Ritsuka is only casual when it comes to housekeeping, and she likes to collect things--souvenirs of her time in this city, mementos of friends and events past.
She leads him to the living room, which is dominated by a very nice plush couch set opposite of a fireplace, then pauses. ]
Um. I could make us something to drink? I've got herbal teas and stuff.
[He glances at the couch. But if she's going to make tea, she's going to be in the kitchen, right? It feels clingy to an outlandish, humiliating degree to want to hang out in the kitchen with her rather than sit alone on the couch, but that's where he's at, apparently.
The sting of that embarrassment is dampened some by a quiet realization: it's not anxiety that's making him want to follow her in there. It so easily could be, and often is: the trivial, stupid social anxiety of feeling awkward an uncertain what to do when he's alone-ish in someone else's house, and the deeper, more painful anxiety of being certain that she has a reason for offering to leave the room. To laugh at him. To text a friend begging for an excuse to throw him out. Hell, to jump out the window—those are all familiar thoughts. But they aren't the ones he's having right now.
No, he literally just wants to bask in the presence of his new! girlfriend! for a while. Wow. Lame, dude.
But a much happier lame than stupid neurosis lame.
[ She glances at him when he comes into the kitchen, but there's just a warm smile on her face. While she'd half-expected him to wait, there's a warm fond feeling that he came after all. It makes the relationship feel more settled--here it is, a small gesture that shows he wants to be around her, that he would actively seek her company out, even when it'd be easy enough for them to have a slightly loud conversation with her in the kitchen and him in the living room.
In fact, when he enters, she beckons to him, holding up a couple of tins like an offering. ]
I've got a chai one and a fruity one. Tell me which one you'd like more.
[ Her voice is soft, and her affection warms it further. Ritsuka might not suffer the same kind of small social anxieties that plague Kadoc, but she also is so, so happy to have these extra small moments with him. He's cute? He's so cute, and as it turns out, she likes him quite a lot. ]
[But he wants to smell them both, since she's offering, so he crosses to her and takes the tins out of her hand. It feels like maybe the most domestic thing he's ever done, somehow. For a night, they're just two young adults who like one another feeling their way around their first time sharing a homey space as a couple. His chest feels as warm as the spices in this chai, which is the one he hands back to her with a nod.]
Yeah, that one smells good. . . . I used to not really be into tea. But I got converted by a fan.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fujimaru
no subject
Date: 2023-08-28 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-08-28 06:33 am (UTC)But right now... right now, there doesn't seem to be a limit to what she can ask from him. The fact that he seems just as eager only encourages her further. Maybe it's okay? Maybe it's fine to want this, and to ask, and to give back what he seems to want from her in turn. ]
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Date: 2023-09-02 03:53 am (UTC)—Sorry, I—we should probably . . . uh.
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Date: 2023-09-02 04:22 am (UTC)[ Her voice is also rough, huskier than she's ever heard herself sound. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, automatic and instinctive, as she stares back at him. That happened? That really happened, and honestly, she's shocked herself a little. Even with the kiss broken, and even with her agreement, she does not pull away from him. ]
M... maybe we should--uh. My place or yours?
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Date: 2023-09-08 03:23 am (UTC)[A thousand protests rise up from the part of him that believes this must be some mistake still. That part of him isn't going to die anytime soon, no matter how much progress he's made on it, and with her help, too. Kadoc can trust her entirely, does trust her entirely, and yet his own mind turns that on him instead, deciding that instead it must be itself that can't be trusted. He's misunderstood, somehow, or is dreaming, surely. Some outcome that makes him the fool here.
He has to work to quash those, but he does, meeting her eyes directly.]
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Date: 2023-09-08 03:33 am (UTC)[ If she knew his uncertainty, she would sympathize. It's not like she doesn't feel the same, in some way--considering where they started from, all the way back in the Russian Lostbelt... it's almost unbelievable, isn't it?
But she trusts her own heart, at least. She knows what she wants, and what she has wanted. Even if she hadn't allowed herself to imagine they could reach a point like this, she's always, always wanted to be closer to him.
Ritsuka lifts a hand to touch his cheek gently. It's an anchoring point of connection: you're here, and so am I. ]
I'd like it.
no subject
Date: 2023-09-13 05:11 am (UTC)[Not that it seems all that likely that they're going to go back to her place and start up a merry game of Yahtzee, but you know. If she sprang that on him? He honestly wouldn't complain. His head tilts just slightly into the warmth of her fingers, as light and soft as the little smile that settles onto his face.]
You lead the way?
no subject
Date: 2023-09-13 05:16 am (UTC)This way.
[ They can head back to her little home, quiet and dark and waiting for them. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-28 06:55 pm (UTC). . . Anyone else home?
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Date: 2023-09-28 07:10 pm (UTC)No. It's just me right now.
[ Which... is certainly a thing, isn't it? They're going to be Alone Together. Wild. ]
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Date: 2023-10-04 05:58 am (UTC)[His brain doesn't know what to come out with that doesn't sound weird. Finally he just says:]
Nice.
[And is immediately embarrassed and paranoid about having done that. Don't be that guy, Kadoc Zemlupus!!!]
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Date: 2023-10-04 06:12 am (UTC)Yeah, so, you might as well come inside for a while.
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Date: 2023-10-10 05:34 am (UTC)I'd like that. If you're cool with it. . . . I wanna spend a little more time with you.
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Date: 2023-10-10 05:49 am (UTC)I want that, too. Maybe I'm just clingy? But I don't wanna let you go home yet.
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Date: 2023-10-13 05:48 am (UTC)[He says that earnestly, not as a line, but he flushes pink anyway because it sounds like a line!]
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Date: 2023-10-13 06:05 am (UTC)[ She knows better than to actually think it's a line--she knows him! She knows what kind of person he is, and that sort of flirting is definitely not something she believes he could pull off without choking. He had to be sincere about it, which is one of her greatest weaknesses. Just hearing someone express a genuine emotion like that for her--and especially someone she likes already... wild. ]
O--okay, then, uh... I guess I'll just cling to you some more.
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Date: 2023-10-22 05:02 am (UTC)[Now the full force of her reaction bowls him over. He was already teetering on the edge of embarrassment, and now she . . . she's like this, that's all! She's always like this. Her sincere reaction to hearing that tugs at his heart just as much as his sincere words had hers.
He takes her hand and squeezes it.]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-22 05:31 am (UTC)The rest of the walk she stays silent, but also close. For the moment, she's not sure what she could say that wouldn't be--some very embarrassing and probably premature confessions, but she wants that contact. As long as he'll allow her to cling, she will. ]
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Date: 2023-10-22 06:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-22 06:57 am (UTC)She puts her head on his shoulder, tilted, until they reach her door, and she has to reluctantly peel away so she can find her key and let them both in. ]
Um. Welcome to my home.
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Date: 2023-10-31 06:13 am (UTC)[Strange that her saying that should humble him. But it does; he feels it seep in, the tender weight of being invited into her home. This is her place, and she'd wanted him here. He looks around with more interest than he realized he had, keeping close to her side, hand on her back.]
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Date: 2023-10-31 06:26 am (UTC)[ She doesn't know she's echoing those thoughts, but they're true. She'd wanted him here. It feels so lonely and empty here by herself, even if it's a small, cozy place. It's been decorated in warm colors--light cream, sunny teal-green, and dark wood accents. Things are a little cluttered, because Ritsuka is only casual when it comes to housekeeping, and she likes to collect things--souvenirs of her time in this city, mementos of friends and events past.
She leads him to the living room, which is dominated by a very nice plush couch set opposite of a fireplace, then pauses. ]
Um. I could make us something to drink? I've got herbal teas and stuff.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-02 05:40 am (UTC)[He glances at the couch. But if she's going to make tea, she's going to be in the kitchen, right? It feels clingy to an outlandish, humiliating degree to want to hang out in the kitchen with her rather than sit alone on the couch, but that's where he's at, apparently.
The sting of that embarrassment is dampened some by a quiet realization: it's not anxiety that's making him want to follow her in there. It so easily could be, and often is: the trivial, stupid social anxiety of feeling awkward an uncertain what to do when he's alone-ish in someone else's house, and the deeper, more painful anxiety of being certain that she has a reason for offering to leave the room. To laugh at him. To text a friend begging for an excuse to throw him out. Hell, to jump out the window—those are all familiar thoughts. But they aren't the ones he's having right now.
No, he literally just wants to bask in the presence of his new! girlfriend! for a while. Wow. Lame, dude.
But a much happier lame than stupid neurosis lame.
So he heads for the kitchen.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-02 06:02 am (UTC)In fact, when he enters, she beckons to him, holding up a couple of tins like an offering. ]
I've got a chai one and a fruity one. Tell me which one you'd like more.
[ Her voice is soft, and her affection warms it further. Ritsuka might not suffer the same kind of small social anxieties that plague Kadoc, but she also is so, so happy to have these extra small moments with him. He's cute? He's so cute, and as it turns out, she likes him quite a lot. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-03 06:31 am (UTC)[But he wants to smell them both, since she's offering, so he crosses to her and takes the tins out of her hand. It feels like maybe the most domestic thing he's ever done, somehow. For a night, they're just two young adults who like one another feeling their way around their first time sharing a homey space as a couple. His chest feels as warm as the spices in this chai, which is the one he hands back to her with a nod.]
Yeah, that one smells good. . . . I used to not really be into tea. But I got converted by a fan.
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