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[fujimaru]

It's Ritsuka! I've either fallen asleep or couldn't find my phone in time, so leave a message.

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[messianic]

[ He's quiet for a moment, eyes sliding shut as he takes a moment to try to think through his minor flu-induced fog.

But there's no hiding the way that he feels a little sad at that, sad and wistful and nostalgic. ]

... I wish you'd let yourself feel those things, without trying to push them away. Even if it's just for now, just here. Being able to do that... is something precious, I think. Especially since you have to keep yourself together back home.

[fujimaru]

Some of it is fine.

[ Some of it, but not any more. Nothing here is going to be permanent for her, and she is resigned to that. ]

It's been nice to... catch up, I guess? To get to do things I would have, if things had been normal. But I have to be ready to keep going even when it ends.

[messianic]

[ he squeezes her hand gently at that, understanding--and confidence in her--washing over him. ]

... You will be. Because you're Ritsuka... and that's the sort of person you are.

I don't doubt that at all.

[fujimaru]

[ She's quiet about that for a moment, grateful for his confidence, and also gently regretful. There's just so much she wishes she could say, or ask for, and none of that is something she's allowed. ]

...Thanks. I'll be doing my best.

[messianic]

[ He's quiet for a moment, her gentle regret sinking in for him. It... is definitely a little painful to feel that from her, because he understands. He understands what it's like to want something so simple, so understated as a normal life, and to know that with what's in your future, you just can't have it.

... He squeezes her hand gently in his own, before he brings their joined hands to rest over his chest, where his heart is. He knows she can feel his mingled fondness and sadness for her... but he can't help but demonstrate it in that way too. ]

... I know you will. That's... what makes you so precious to so many people. Because no matter what... you're always very, very Ritsuka.

[fujimaru]

Precious...

[ She's a little more bemused by the comment, though she doesn't resist when he pulls her hand in like that; all she does is roll to face him better, her head tilted. It's a strange feeling, o know he believes that, and not really feel it herself. Ritsuka is an ordinary person, with ordinary goals; being precious feels like it's for a rank above her.

There's also something wistful at hearing him, specifically, say that, but that's really neither here nor there. ]

I don't know about that. But as long as people like me enough to work with me, I'll be glad.

[messianic]

[ She rolls to face him, and he does the same thing, flashing her a small smile. He lets her feelings wash over him, takes a moment to process them, and then responds with peaceful contentedness to be in this position, to be able to be here. ]

... Yeah. I know.

[ Ritsuka never asks for much. Really, she never even asks for enough. ]

But I hope you can at least believe that that's how I feel. While we're like this, anyway.

[ he waggles their joined hands with a fond little smile. ]

[fujimaru]

[ Ahhhhhhh this feels like dangerous territory, and this is where Ritsuka should back off. But she can't back off either, so instead it's this: gratitude with her confusion, along with everything else. ]

...I'm glad you do. I hope you know that part.

[messianic]

[ this is very dangerous territory and Minato is pretty oblivious, but he's not that oblivious--so after a moment, he slowly shifts their hands so they're at least between them on the bed, cheeks a little flushed. ]

... I do. No matter what you're going through...

[ he clears his throat, and tries to push away his light fluster and embarrassment to focus on what really matters. ]

... I've never doubted that you care just as much for the rest of us.

[fujimaru]

[ danger aborted surely, this is fine ]

...Good. I don't want to make it seem like I don't--I do care about everyone here. It'd be nice if I could see you again after we leave, but...

[ But :( ]

[messianic]

[ he's going to very generously interpret that as her talking about everyone so that he doesn't have to dwell too hard on the implications.

(He can't hide the wistfulness on his end either--wistful and a little sad, but never regretful.) ]

Never say never. Something could happen that could bring you back here--or back to where the others are for a little bit, or something like that. For a nice reunion.

I feel like anything's possible after all that we've seen.

[fujimaru]

Anything's possible.

[ But there's so much that she has to do before she can think about that. The only thing that really gives her any comfort about being here is knowing that things are still progressing the way they should(?) at home. She's still facing down those Lostbelts, no matter how long she lingers here. ]

It'd be nice if a reunion was one of them.

[messianic]

This is a place shaped by our hearts and hopes and dreams... and I doubt you're the only person who will be wishing for that.

Soooo...

[ he squeezes her hand with a smile. ]

... I'm gonna go ahead and assume that one day, it'll happen.

[fujimaru]

I'll put my faith in that.

[ Which she does, sincerely, even if there's a part of her that feels detached, still, from the possibility. This smile is sincere, though it's less a positive one and more distant. ]

[messianic]

... I'm glad.

[ That's just said softly, almost gently, but his emotions have settled at a simple, peaceful contentedness. ]

If there's something to hope for and put faith in still, then... sometimes, that's enough.

[fujimaru]

Sometimes, yeah... but I think it also always has to be there. It's always important, it's just a matter of whether there's more on top of that.

[messianic]

Yeah. I think so too. Everyone needs something to keep fighting for, right? And hope... hope's a really powerful thing.

[fujimaru]

[ That gets a powerful sense of wistful nostalgia--something that is half-guilt, half-fondness, all tangled up. ]

It is. ...It can make living through years of hell worth it.

[messianic]

[ through hell... there's a flicker of pained sadness that she has to go through that at all, but... he's not surprised. Of course he isn't. He understands it--every word she's saying resonates with him. ]

... I hope that it does. For you, especially... I hope it makes it worth it.

[fujimaru]

It has for me, so far. But...

[ But. She thinks of Roman, and the things she only learned after he was gone. ]

...there's one person I wish I could ask that. Was it worth it? [ Was I worth it? ] But I don't think I'll ever get that chance.

[messianic]

... Mmm.

[ that's... a tough one. The people they've lost and left behind along the way... it'd be nice to be able to speak with them again. ]

What do you think they would say? If you just had to take a guess.

[fujimaru]

What do I think... I don't know.

[ That, too, comes with a sense of deep wistfulness--a loss that she has only just barely begun to process, skirting around the edges of that loss. ]

He hid a lot from me. Not because of anything I did or anything, just... he was so afraid of something. I want to believe he would tell me it was worth it, but I can't know.

[messianic]

... I don't mean to bring up painful memories or anything...

[ he says that gently, a little bit of soft apologeticness bleeding through their connection. ]

I only ask because... you're the only one left who's keeping him alive, you know? You, and... whoever else still remembers him. So I think in that case, sometimes... you just have to guess on what he would say, and hope for the best.

[fujimaru]

I'm always hoping for the best, Minato-kun.

[ But at the feeling of contriteness, she squeezes his hand again. It's all right. There's no real way to avoid this grief, and she doesn't want to forget Roman, either. ]

I think... he'd probably tell me it was. He was kind of a coward sometimes, but I think--I know that in the end, he did want to do the right thing.

[messianic]

Yeah... I didn't know him, but...

Well... I think anyone you respect as much as you respect him would think it was worth it too. That's just how I feel.